KNOCK! KNOCK! AND COLLAPSE.

THERE WAS A LOUD KNOCKING ON A DOOR. I SPASMED INTO A REVERSE ARCH. MY LEFT LEG TWISTED. I FELL ASLEEP REPEATEDLY IN THE FOLLOWING HOURS.

I DID NOT KNOW IT WAS THE SAMSUNG R5 SOUND BAR. I THOUGHT IT WAS REAL.

I HAVE SPECULATED ABOUT WHY I MIGHT HAVE BECOME MORE DISABLED WITHOUT INJURING MYSELF. THE REAL ARRIVAL OF POLICE, OR THE THREAT OF THE CREATION OF THAT, HAS CAUSED ME TO COLLAPSE IN THE PAST.

THIS LEADS BACK TO CHILDHOOD ASSAULTS BY MY MOTHER, WHERE I WAS WRENCHED DOWN TO THE GROUND BY MY HAIR, BENDING MY BACK INTO A REVERSE ARCH, TWISTING MY NECK AND COLLAPSING MY LEFT LEG TO DO IT.

I STILL HAVE THE SAME REACTION WHEN I THINK I HAVE THE POLICE TRYING TO GET INTO MY HOUSE AND AT ME.

PAUL WHELAN SAID THE MOST TERRIFYING PART OF STATE OPPRESSION WAS WAITING FOR THE RUSSIAN POLICE TO ARRIVE. 

I WILL HAVE TO OBSERVE WHAT IS GOING ON EVERY TIME I HEAR SOUNDS IN MY DRIVEWAY. I LOOK OUT MY WINDOW AND I HAVE
MEMORIES OF LOOKING OUT TO SEE THAT THE POLICE WERE HERE.