COLLAPSE CAUSES THE VIRTUAL PARALYSIS OF TONIC IMMOBILITY

I RECALL THAT I HAVE LAID AROUND IN THE PAST UNABLE TO DO ANY SHORT PHYSICAL ACTION WITHOUT HAVING TO LAY DOWN AGAIN TO RECOVER.

That does not mean I do not do anything it means I have to do everything in short segments and in a constrained manner without causing any of a number of adverse  neck or back reactions. Having to sit to shovel, for instance is not a speedy way to get shoveling done. I am having a very hard time getting anything done at this time.

ONE OF MY REMEDIES FOR THIS VIRTUAL PARALYSIS WAS TO WORK LAYING DOWN.  I DICTATED INNUMERABLE WRITINGS TO AP, MY PRODUCTION EXPIDITER. YEARS AGO MUSICIANS WOULD COME TO MY HOME AND I WOULD PRACTICE WITH THEM; I WAS LAYING DOWN.

What I did not realize is how I came to be Virtually Paralyzed on many occasions. I would know that following a motor vehicle accident I was injured but I did not realize that as all the carpets of the support I had contracted to receive if I was injured were pulled joyously and sadistically out from under me, I would feel the empty inside feeling and the barely able to stand feeling and then I would collapse.

I DO NOT HAVE TO GO RIGHT DOWN TO THE GROUND. SOMETHING TRIGGERS TONIC IMMOBILITY OR VIRTUAL PARALYSIS EVEN IF I CATCH MYSELF BEFORE I FALL RIGHT DOWN. I DO GO RIGHT DOWN OFTEN AND I MAY NOT HAVE BEEN AWARE THAT I WAS DOWN.

I BELIEVED THAT I FELL OR SLIPPED MANY TIMES THAT I ACTUALLY COLLAPSED DUE TO BEING DISACKNOWLEGED AND OVERWHELMED.

I HAVE GONE INTO A STATE OFCONVULSION IN SITUATIONS WHICH WERE SIMILAR AND EVEN WHEN I SPRAYED MY LEGS WITH COLD WATER. MY CHEST FROZE SOLID, I COULD HARDLY BREATHE UNTIL I GOT INTO A HOT SHOWER. FORTUNATELY THE SHOWER WAS NEARBY. 

MY ALARMING VISAGE

HOW CAN I GO OVER THE SAME GROUND AGAIN?

LIKE TO ARCHEOLOGY THE INFORMATION IS NOT READILY APPARENT EVEN IF YOU DUG DEEP EARLIER.

I was laying there on the media room couch, I can't stand and sit with my arms on the chair arms when I get up and write or whatever. I accomplish many tasks from a sitting position which other persons might not sit to do, to shovel for example.

I was laying down, feet up hanging by my shoulders as well, in mild traction. It felt so good, floating without moving a muscle and with my eyes closed, I enjoyed the calm and lack of striving to hold muself up and I had a shuddering breath release.

One of my first memories is of laying on the bed in the front room of the second floor apartment at 2737 Allard Street in Ville Emard right across from St. Jean de Matteau Catholic Cathedral, I think it was a Cathedral. I had the same shuddering release breath which preceedes back release contemporaneously. It is quite a relief.

I recalled the day I was called in (unlawfully) to ICBC and after the interview I was presented as too frightening to deal with and they recorded and transcripted my calls, I saw automatically printed records of my calls where I say over and over that the version of the accident espoused by ICBC was an absurd fraud.

I told them to have a technically skilled accident investigator to deal with me, I had pictures, drawings and calculations to present. Instead a really angry Bink Lofgren said to me "You are making me late for my vacation"."You were going eighty five miles per hour and left a one hundred and eighty five foot long skid mark."

 

I probably had a collapse on partial collapse at this point, and I did not know this until recently, there is a terrible expression on my face. The person dominating me causes the collapse, it is not my fault, I cannot control it. When multiple persons attack me that excerbates my falling victim to collapse. Financial threats really terrorize and paralyze me. I had no money a lot or owed more than I had or owed constant money  draining and wealth accumulation destroying payments to wife and Mother, so I may overreact to the possibility of financial loss and collapse.

I think I have had a look on my face as I freaked or went into Tonic Immobility that people found freakish and frightening and they discriminated against me as if I had threatened them when I had not. I, surprised that I was to not get paid a sum of money I was depending on to not have to borrow to buy groceries, was described as having the "Most Hostile Look on My Face" that the person who freaked me by saying there would not even be a discussion about paying me my money triggered. I thought I lost my balance and my breath. I now know that is why I was treated as a freakish threat, it was the look on my face as I collapsed. You would look alarmed too if it happened to you.