Disabled not compensated means that the minute I am smashed in an accident I stop all productive activity. There has to be an alternative pay day when all of yours are terminated by injury. I WORKED AT THE CNR BUT I ALSO DID ART AND WRITING AND I PLAYED HARMONICA AND GUITAR. I NEEDED MY AFFLAC OUT OF WORK INSURANCE TO CONTINUE TO SUPPORT MUSIC AND ART. WITHOUT IT LIFE WAS EXTREMELY TAXING PHYSICALLY. IT WAS HARD TO DO A LOT OF WORK THAT WAS NOT ACCOMPLISHED SEATED. I NEEDED MY INSURANCE PAY
Wednesday, December 15, 2021
HEAD INJURY IS DEEMED A FACTOR IN THE HERNANDEZ MURDER SPREE
AN NFL PLAYER HAD GONE ON A VIOLENT AND DEADLY MURDER SPREE. I NOTICED THAT IT WAS REFERRED TO AS A RESULT OF MENTAL DEFECT DUE TO HEAD INJURY.
Monday, November 8, 2021
CHEST COMPRESSION
PEOPLE AT THE TRAVIS CURTIS CRUSH EXPERIENCED AN INABILITY TO BREATHE.
That is what happens during the Seizures I experience when I am subjected to the various stimuli that cause either Collapse or Convulsion. I experience their description of how they are not able to get a breath, coupled with severe rigidization of the chest, and sometimes other muscle systems.
I know that the Tonic Immobility Collapses can cause a Virtual Paralysis that lasts for months or years. I am not sure whether the effects of Convulsion or Spasm or the Seizures aforementioned are long lasting. It is likely that a thorough research of my Daily Diary of Condition and Activity would reveal what happened after some of the Convulsion episodes.
Wednesday, September 15, 2021
PRECIPITATION INTO THE UNDERCLASS IS DEVASTATING
May 4th 1970, a 1956 Ford pulled in front of the Mini Cooper I was a passenger within and stopped immediately.
This was the beginning of my third precipitation into the Underclass.
Each time I was thus precipitated, it was not only the event which began the precipitation but also the Despair which is created when your support structure is deliberately destroyed though the lawful outcome which was prearranged by myself or my Paternal Grandfather would make that impossible.
I had a large inheritance at eighteen, in January 1964, while attending University full time, and I was dispossessed of that by my Mother. I ended up in a freezing tenement eating lunch meat sandwiches within a few weeks of my Farmer's and Merchant's Trust account having been seized by my Mother. ( Her 2nd account seizure.)
I was injured in a Motor Vehicle Collision I did not cause in February of 1967 and I was denied my prearranged, paid for on each pay check, Affleck or similar `` Out of Work Insurance``.
Once again I lived in a room in an indigent tenement and this time I ate a diet of oatmeal, eggs, potatoes, carrots and onions only. I do not remember eating anything else.
.erclass
The precipitation into the Underclass is devastating and the anguish and denial of ones worth creates the Virtual paralysis of Tonic Immobility. No one helped each time I was injured in accidents I did not cause but I was vilified instead.
In the Spring of 1969 I recovered to the point where I returned to the Canadian National Railroad though I had to take every fourth week off of work to lay there for most of ten days in a 135* Reclining position. The booking off as unfit was not paid for by the CNR, it was at my cost, a loss.
I starved and laid paralyzed until April or May 1974.
When I was injured in an accident I did not cause again in May 1970 the clerk, Turner, at CNR Employee Relations said he had ``thrown all of my paperwork into the garbage`` and when I said I would go and report this to Senior Management he said he would call the Police. ``The CN Police will not listen to you, I am a Yard Foreman`` I said. Turner said `` I will have the Commissionaires call City Police``. I do not remember anything as I fled but the park out front and the Ivanhoe Hotel.
Thursday, July 22, 2021
TIGHT SPACES
SEE ALL THE AMPLIFIERS
LOOK AT HOW THEY FILL
THE MEZZANINE WITH GEAR
MY PARALYSIS REQUIRES
ME TO CLING TO AN AMP UNTIL
THERE IS ANOTHER AMP NEAR.
WHAT CAN BE DONE BY LIARS:
NONE OF IT WAS TRUE, BUT IT STILL,
CAUSES ME TO COLLAPSE IN FEAR.
Thursday, May 6, 2021
TALES OF OLD VANCOUVER
SOMEHOW I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING:
I HAPPILY DID ALL OF WHAT I COULD.
I was thinking of what Vancouver was like when I lived there and when I returned to pursue Art, Music and Writing. There were a lot of really cool things going on.
I was there for the Seventies; I had the Advanced Method jewelry Manufacturing downtown and the Burr House in Delta the last half of the Decade. I returned when I could until the later nineties when it was no longer possible at all.
THE ASSIDUOUS PURSUIT OF ART, MUSIC AND WRITING EMPLOYMENT WAS CHARACTERIZED AS INSANE AND THUS COULD POSE A RISK AND BE DANGEROUS: "PLEASE MR POLICEMAN CRUSH MY HUSBAND'S PRETENSIONS TO BEING AN ARTISAN,ARTIST, WRITER AND MUSICIAN, HE'S CRAZY".
ONE MIGHT TAKE A LOOK AT THE ART, MUSIC AND WRITING AT LINDONCOLLARD.com, blogspot or on You Tube.
It is well known that recovery from injury and brain injury and childhood abuse trauma is facilitated by Art and Music. Being in the familiar happy places helps to heal and reactivate the mind.
HOW COULD PEOPLE WITH NOTHING TO LOSE BY MY DOING MY THING FEEL THEY HAD TO INTERVENE AND BRING MY HAPPY RESTORATIVE TIME TO AN END.
"I AM GOING TO WIPE THE SMILE OFF YOUR FACE" SAID MY EX WIFE AND SHE REACHED OUT TO THE POLICE TO SAY I WAS DISCONTENTED AND DANGEROUS.
WRITING, MUSIC COMPOSITION AND PERFORMANCE WERE CHARACTERIZED AS "HUBRIS" OR EGOMANIA WHEN WHAT IT WAS IS CARPING CRITICS FELT SMALL AND UN-CREATIVE SO THEY WERE ANGRY AT ME.
ALL I HAVE HAD TO WRITE ABOUT IS THE EXCEEDINGLY DIMINISHED EXPERIENCE THAT THE WOMEN WANTED AGAINST ME.
Thursday, April 22, 2021
Alternate Personalities Created by Childhood Trauma.
Hangouts
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View. Documentary on HBO " Crazy not Insane". "Crazy Not Insane" by Dorothy O. Lewis is about the creation of Serial Killers and Psychotic Killers through physical injury and other maltreatment or mistreatment during childhood. New, sometimes psychotic, alternate entity persons are created to escape the maltreatment. I definitely attended Mother Collard's Serial Killer School with high impact and pain treatment. The documentary states that shaking children, slamming them into objects or striking their heads with anything causes brain damage in children. ( I wonder, what about contact sports?) I have at least one alternate personality or reality and it is virtually paralyzed and collapsed. That was what would happen when I was pulled to the left then right and thrown down by my hair and jumped on by my Mother. That would crush the breath out of me.I would collapse, gasping. She struck for no reason and without warning with brooms and steel edged yardsticks. I remember the sound of the steel edge cutting through my hair as she struck my skull, and the taste of blood in my mouth. My left arm has steel edge grooves all over it. When we are subjected to similar maltreatment as we experienced in childhood the obnoxious claim is made that we brought it on ourselves, it is claimed that we mated with persons alike to our abusers, as if we were stupidly so attracted. My siblings and my wife fell in love with the abuse still being perpetrated againdt me by my mother when I was an adult my siblings and the women who married into the Collard Family continued the stealing crimes which women do, men rape, women steal, and they lie and lie to use the "Big Beaters", POLICE. ONE OF MY FIRST MEMORIES IS OF LAYING THERE MY CHEST LOCKED AND SHUDDERING AS I TRIED TO BREATHE AT 2737 ALLARD, I WAS FOUR AT THE TIME. The documentary on HBO stated that personality change created during childhood trauma will manifest then and later with personality, writing, voice and facial appearance changes. I wrote several songs about Ann's personality changes and I wrote about her assuming a "little girl" voice. She could withdraw into cigarettes and alcohol. She exhibited changing spelling. Some personality changed individuals are not collapsed but active and dangerous. There is a report of another personality changing person who would sleep after his macabre acts were accomplished. I have the sleep syndrome severely, sleeping deeply several times a day and right after a live performance, creating a cartoon, or accomplishing a drive to Victoria, or in the past to the Ferry or from it into Vancouver. I detailed a plethora of accurate and truthful recountations of events, statements and what the results and symptoms were. I put it into writing, animation and musical performance and what do you know, the data driven Art fits right in with the HBO Documentary and my subsequent research. Like I said " Those who witness child beating of a sibling fall in love with that beater and that beating" and the mates, associates and adversaries of persons terrorized and injured as children FALL IN LOVE WITH HANDING OUT MORE PUNISHMENT, HATRED AND PHYSICAL INJURY. Brain injured abused persons do not, all of them, collapse like I do. Do reprisers of child maltreatment trigger attacks on themselves, or worse, trigger attacks upon innocent person |
Monday, April 19, 2021
This is an Excerpt from my Apage on how I feel in Documents
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My accurate and truthful letters and posts:
View. ---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Lindon Collard <lindoncollard@gmail.com> Date: Thu, Mar 25, 2021 at 4:50 PM Subject: Fwd: My accurate and truthful letters and posts: To: Anne Pearson <annepearson99@gmail.com> Documentary on HBO " Crazy not Insane". ---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Lindon Collard <lindoncollard@gmail.com> Date: Thu, Mar 25, 2021 at 4:21 PM Subject: My accurate and truthful letters and posts: To: Rebecca Collard <rebecca.collard@gmail.com> "Crazy Not Insane" by Dorothy O. Lewis is about the creation of Serial Killers and Psychotic Killers through physical injury and other maltreatment or mistreatment during childhood. New, sometimes psychotic, alternate entity persons are created to escape the maltreatment. I definitely attended Mother Collard's Serial Killer School with high impact and pain treatment. The documentary states that shaking children, slamming them into objects or striking their heads with anything causes brain damage in children. ( I wonder, what about contact sports?) I have at least one alternate personality or reality and it is virtually paralyzed and collapsed. That was what would happen when I was pulled to the left then right and thrown down by my hair and jumped on by my Mother. That would crush the breath out of me.I would collapse, gasping. She struck for no reason and without warning with brooms and steel edged yardsticks. I remember the sound of the steel edge cutting through my hair as she struck my skull, and the taste of blood in my mouth. My left arm has steel edge grooves all over it. When we are subjected to similar maltreatment as we experienced in childhood the obnoxious claim is made that we brought it on ourselves, it is claimed that we mated with persons alike to our abusers, as if we were stupidly so attracted. My siblings and my wife fell in love with the abuse still being perpretrated againdt me by my mother when I was an adult my siblings and the women who married into the Collard Family continued the stealing crimes which women do, men rape, women steal, and they lie and lie to use the "Big Beaters", POLICE. ONE OF MY FIRST MEMORIES IS OF LAYING THERE MY CHEST LOCKED AND SHUDDERING AS I TRIED TO BREATHE AT 2737 ALLARD, I WAS FOUR AT THE TIME. The documentary on HBO stated that personality change created during childhood trauma will manifest then and later with personality, writing, voice and facial appearance changes. I wrote several songs about Ann's personality changes and I wrote about her assuming a "little girl" voice. She could withdraw into cigarettes and alcohol. She exhibited changing spelling. Some personality changed individuals are not collapsed but active and dangerous. There is a report of another personality changing person who would sleep after his macabre acts were accomplished. I have the sleep syndrome severely, sleeping deeply several times a day and right after a live performance, creating a cartoon, or accomplishing a drive to Victoria, or in the past to the Ferry or from it into Vancouver. I detailed a plethora of accurate and truthful recountations of events, statements and what the results and symptoms were. I put it into writing, animation and musical performance and what do you know, the data driven Art fits right in with the HBO Documentary and my subsequent research. Like I said " Those who witness child beating of a sibling fall in love with that beater and that beating" and the mates, associates and adversaries of persons terrorized and injured as children FALL IN LOVE WITH HANDING OUT MORE PUNISHMENT, HATRED AND PHYSICAL INJURY. Brain injured abused persons do not, all of them, collapse like I do. Do reprisers of child maltreatment trigger attacks on themselves, or worse, trigger attacks upon innocent person |
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Excerpt from records:
Lindon Collard, 4129 Otter Point Road V9Z 0K2 Sooke BC Canada. 250-642-7087 How I feel April 19 2021: I continually have to quit what I am doing and throw myself down flat on the bed here in the Media room. Even sitting reclined at 135* can suddenly end with my having to lay flat on the bed. It is notable that the position I usually end up in to obtain relief is the bodily positioning which is the same as when I was thrown down and jumped on as a child. The left leg is bent at 110* or so, the right leg is slightly straighter. My neck and spine lean to the left but the neck can require a right turn, it was twisted right before I was thrown down to the left. Breathing will eventually return to normal; it is highly restricted when the " fallen in between the shoulder blades" symptom forces me off of my feet or out of sitting. Additionally or alternatively there is an inability to do "anything" because of Collapse. Postscript: It is possible I will revert to the "powerless crushed child" personality when I am subjected to negative stimuli.Misuse of authority, or misplaced, false and hostile authority cause heinous psychological and physical injury.(I hypothesise that this is a cause of Tonic Immobility.) Fake 911 calls and fraudulent declarations and defamation cause terrifying endless anguish. Any form of assault by a criminal gang is very damaging. Trespass by numerous persons is an assault and it is terrifying to be subjected to this. It gets worse with repetition.There is no relief. At this time, I have been cut off from my musical world for decades. I do not have any social life or business life without having a Victoria property to use. I collapsed just driving past the Rockcliffe. I lack the experiences and environment which bring about recovery which I had in the past. More 15 of 1,299
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