PEOPLE MISREAD BOTH MY HAPPINESS AT BEING MOBILE AND MY CHAGRIN AS I COLLAPSE

WHEN I AM MOBILE, SINCE THE 1980's, I SMILE AND I AM HAPPY AND PEOPLE MISREAD THIS AND CONDEMN ME AS IF I AM IRRATIONALLY HAPPY OR  THEY PURPORT THAT I AM NOT TAKING THEM SERIOUSLY AND REACT AGAINST ME.

WHEN I AM IMMOBILE, NO ONE SEES ME.

WHEN I COLLAPSE INTO SHELL SHOCK THERE IS A VERY GRIM LOOK ON MY FACE WHICH PEOPLE OBJECT TO AND EVEN THINK THAT THAT JUSTIFIES THEIR  CALLING POLICE TO HELP THEM.

I CAN NOT EVER HARASS OR THREATEN OR EVEN ARGUE WITH PEOPLE BECAUSE I WILL GO INTO   (Click on the banner.)

 SHELL SHOCK

I HAD AND HAVE TO OBJECT THROUGH TAPED MESSAGES AND IN LETTERS AND EMAIL AND THROUGH PUBLICATION.

HAD I NOT BEEN INJURED IN 1968 AND 1970 AND HAD I NOT HAD TO STOP WORKING I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN A SUCH A FINANCIALLY WEAK CONDITION AS WELL AS BEING PHYSICALLY SO WEAK THAT YOU CANNOT IMAGINE SUCH WEAKNESS I WOULD CONJECTURE.

I WOULD NOT EVER HAVE LEFT MY JOB AT THE CNR. THAT JOB MIGHT WELL HAVE LED ME TO THE SENIOR MANAGEMENT POSITIONS I HAD HIRED ON TO THE CNR TO WORK AT AND I WOULD LIKELY HAVE GOTTEN TO WORK AT. IF THAT HAS NOT HAPPENED I WAS ALWAYS WORKING AT ART, MY WRITING AND/OR MY MUSIC. I HAVE NEVER QUIT.

I THINK I WOULD HAVE BEEN REQUIRED TO ORGANIZE AND TRAIN WORKERS. 

THERE WAS DOCUMENTED PROOF OF MY ABILITY TO ORGANIZE, TRAIN AND RETAIN THE LOYALTY AND COOPERATION OF EMPLOYEES.

THERE NIGHT BE MORE FRAGMENTS AND REMAINDERS OF MY ABILITY AND PERFORMANCE RECORDS THAN ONE MIGHT IMAGINE THERE COULD BE.

FIND ANYTHING I DID. I ALWAYS TRIED MY BEST AND THAT WAS ALWAYS GOOD.

IF YOU SET OUT TO ALWAYS LEAVE A RECORD OF INTEGRITY AND DILIGENCE YOU WILL LOOK GOOD AND BE ABLE TO TELL STORIES WHERE YOU LOOK GOOD.

THIS IS NOT AN EGOTISTICAL FLAW! 

DO NOT BE MAD AT ME ABOUT THIS TOO!