PEOPLE DO NOT REALIZE HOW DISABLED I AM.

YESTERDAY I DID FORTY MINUTES OF SERVING MY JUNIOR AND BUD ROOMS.

IN THE EVENING I HAD TO DRIVE TO SOOKE TO SIGN DOCUMENTS AND I ALSO SHOPPED BRIEFLY AT BOTH GROCERY STORES WHICH WAS FORTY FIVE MINUTES DRIVING, TWO TEN MINUTE SHOPPING SESSIONS AND THEN I HAD TO SIT FOR A HALF HOUR WAITING AND SIGNING DOCUMENTS REGARDING A FAMILY OWNED FOUR LOT SUBDIVISION.

I HAD TO LAY DOWN MOST OF THE DAY, ELEVEN AM TO SIX PM TO DO THIS.

TODAY, THE DAY AFTER, I AM SPASMING AND I AM ALMOST UNABLE TO STAND AND I HAVE TO HOLD MYSELF UP ON THE ARMS OF MY TYPIST CHAIR.

I CAN NOT DO THIS, LIVE PERFORMANCE ON STAGE.

I CAN NOT DO THIS, MUSIC PRACTICE.

THIS IS REALLY TERRIBLE AS I CANNOT DO ANYTHING TODAY BUT TYPE THIS.

FROM MY BLOG "'HATE"@blogspot.com.

HATE IS CHARACTERIZED AS AN EMOTIONAL ISSUE WHERE THERE IS AN INTENSE DISLIKE OF OTHER PEOPLE, BUT THERE IS HATE WHICH IS ACTED UPON. ANOTHER IMPORTANT FACTOR IN CONDEMNING DISLIKE AS HATRED IS WHO DAMAGED WHOM. WHO HURT AND KILLED AND STOLE THE POSSESSIONS OF AND THE PROSPECTS OF OTHER PEOPLE IS JUSTIFIABLY DISLIKED

Friday, April 10, 2026

THERE IS A WHOLE LOT OF HATE.

THERE IS CONTEMPT, WHICH MORPHS  INTO HATRED, DIRECTED AT ANYONE WHO SEEMS TO BE POOR AND IT IS DEPLORABLE THAT PERSONS DISABLED BY THE NEGLIGENCE OF OTHERS ARE HATED.

FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE I KNOW THAT IS TRUE FROM THE COMMENTS MADE DURING MY LIFE OF POVERTY ABOUT MY CARS, MY CLOTHES AND ABOUT MY CAREFUL MANAGEMENT OF MY FINANCES; "CHEAP", IS WHAT I WAS CALLED. I JUST PLAIN DID NOT HAVE ANY DISPOSABLE FOR DECADES. 

I DO NOT THINK THERE IS AN UNDERSTANDING OF HOW MY VIRTUAL PARALYSIS AFFECTS ME.

I CAN BARELY WALK OR GET TO MY FEET AND I AM DISBELIEVED ABOUT HOW MANY SITUATIONS CAN PUSH ME THAT LAST BIT OF THE WAY TO COLLAPSING.