EMBARRASSING FELLOW TRAVELLERS

Embarrassing as it is I have recently seen some documentary footage of men with "shellshock" as it was called after World War I and WW II as well. Swayback is a symptom in common with whatever is still afflicting me badly again for years at a time. Men, as only men were documented, who were similarly afflicted had a number of visible facial effects when they were experiencing acute symptoms including my oft mentioned falling in of back, unable to breathe and locked between the shoulders. I have noticed a negative reaction to myself when I had even a momentary Tonic Immobility or Collapse Immobility or the almost having a collapse or concern for an instant.

I do pretty well to not have to be helped to do ordinary chores, but most physical activity is not possible. If I were to have to get to my feet without using my arms, I could not do it. I pull myself around and shove off of walls and rest on counters. I HAVE TO THROW MYSELF AND LEVER MY LOWER LEGS TO GET OUT OF BED. My legs alone would not do the job. The other afflicted men have visible leg deficiencies and have distorted leg muscles or tendons.

THE MEN IN THE DOCUMENTARIES I HAVE SEEN HAD TO BE PULLED TO THEIR FEET BY TWO ATTENDANTS. 

There have been many comments spoken and written by ignorant persons who think they have withstood worse or could easily ignore the ONE HUNDRED FORTY trespassers who have come to my property with malice in mind. It is unbearable and the passage of time offers no healing when the trespasses and fake 911 calls with four to seventeen persons at once have gone on for nearly forty years and occurred twice in the last two and one half years. The recovery of even temporary and partial mobility requires a safe relaxing space to be able to be accomplished.

I wrote in other Posts about the common history of Tonic Immobility victims and it is posted by doctors that childhood trauma and abandonment by society's support structure can cause Virtual Paralysis or Collapse Immobility or Tonic Immobility. The military attacks are more grievous but similar to the Police and By-Law raiding and the fake 911 calls, you do not ever know when the attack might occur again. Police have said they were coming anytime 24/7 and there was never any reason but malice and hatred for all the raids as there was

NEVER A CONVICTION BUT EVEN NOW IN THE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING I CAN NOT EVER FULLY RELAX, JUST LIKE THE MEN WITH THE ARTILLERY SHELLS FALLING. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PEACETIME ALL OF YOU MENTAL CASES.