FRAGILITAS: A state of Fragility and how that comes to pass..

I WAS VERY DURABLE UNTIL I HAD A SERIES OF ACCIDENTS STARTING IN JUNE OF 1963 AND ENDING IN MAY OF 1970.

I did recover from injury a number of times. Each time there would be some loss of endurance and strength; some activities and movements would no longer be possible or the activity or body position and movement would result in displaced joints.

After my February 1967 motor vehicle collision where a left turning car struck my motorcycle and I was thrown onto my helmeted head on the pavement, I was virtually paralyzed for months and when I could move around I was subject to stiffness in my shoulders and neck, fatigue and a loss of spinal stability if I stood around for several hours. I would also become unstable and require a week off work after three weeks of work. Honestly, I would not have willingly given up the physical strength and attributes which made lucrative overtime shifts possible.

During the years 1969 and 1970 I was working one week off, three on, as a Canadian National Railroad Yard Foreman and driving my Triumph Bonneville and then my Norton Commando around Vancouver BC. That was still good.

In May of 1970 I was travelling to the Only Seafood to eat before afternoon shift when the car I was a passenger within was cut off and stopped in front of which resulted in another injurious motor vehicle crash. I was propelled into the roof and the windscreen frame and then the door popped open and I fell out onto the pavement. Virtually Paralyzed again and now very Fragile. One could lift a five pound object and throw ones' neck or back out of alignment and position. That was not at all good.

I was Fragile: if I was  jostled or I was having a hand shake or if any irregularity was underfoot I could easily over strain a muscle or slip, or stagger or twist and the muscles of the neck or back or legs or arm or shoulders would knot and lock fiercely and/or joints would slip or be pulled out of place resulting in lockup or paralysis. 

FRAGILITAS: THE STATE OF BEING VERY FRAGILE!

Five years after my 1970 injury occurred I began to be up and around. I had literally been so paralyzed that I had played amplified Harmonica laying down flat on my back. I am now suspicious that the Virtual Paralysis might be a combination of the physical injury and the psychological damage caused by not receiving my "Out of Work Insurance" which I had paid for every payday from 1963 to 1970 and the abject unsupported state of a disabled person. Online research available now but not in the 1970's states that Tonic Immobility or Collapse Immobility are caused by trauma and continuing danger and rejection and in many persons has foundational causes in childhood abuse.

If you as a child have been thrown down and pinned to the floor by an adult who pulled your neck one way then flung you down the other way by your hair you might easily have an injured default to laying there unable to move like it was when thrown down and pinned down by adult body weight.

If you were " snuck up on " and had your hair pulled or were hit with a broom stick or steel edged yardstick you might be apprehensive about someone lying in wait or sneaking up on you.

Despite my entreaties to adults from age four or five to twelve, no one assisted me in any way.  I was beaten and beaten, probably hit 20 times a week and hair pulled 2 or 3 times a week 'til I was 12. This sets up for a bad reaction to being injured and thrown into the street without sustenance.

 At the age of twelve, my mother could no longer beat me, I could snatch her broom or ruler from her. She, til I was seventeen, had my Father strike me in the shoulders by screeching that she was going to leave if he did not do something about me and I had done nothing, my mother just raged.

At the age of sixteen I was once again powerless and ignored. When I arrived at University I found that $475. or $479. had been withdrawn from my childhood savings account which was composed of cash gifts given to me by relatives because Mother would not let anyone buy me any toys and I was not allowed to spend any of the money although I did get $50. out to buy a bicycle. 

I was attending University full time at eighteen years of age when I received a bequest of $10,000. from my Paternal Grandfather and Mother took it. Once again, no one assisted me, I was "causing trouble", was the Canard. I wanted to buy my own building and go into business and have a home as Charles Vincent Collard had intended and did declare. I wanted my money! The Canard about causing trouble or "Hating" when you have been wronged is odiously offensive.

At the age of nineteen I was declared "not re-admissible " to University after I refused to use my very small campus resident orientated newspaper to "Help things go smoothly " in 1965.  There was no hearing and of course no appeal or counter motion process so, I am dumped on the street.

Mother had my $10,000. and even when I was injured at twenty-one MOTHER NEVER GAVE  ME A RED CENT. MOTHER KEPT IT ALL IN HER BANK ACCOUNT UNTIL SHE DIED.

I suffered real poverty when I was injured and did not get my "Out of Work Insurance " and my Mother kept every cent of my money. No out of work insurance, the Union Shop Steward said      "  We are going to sit this one out ", there was no one to appeal to no way to get my money. This powerlessness causes Tonic Immobility Virtual Paralysis but back then I thought it was physical back and head injury which caused the paralysis and lack of endurance and immobility.